Martje's Royal Mince: History and Recipe

The crowning jewel of the royal table at Ailineighdaeth is Martje's Royal Mince, a recipe for mince pie handed down from royal cook to royal cook across the clan dynasties. Mince was a bakemete in Marridon, where the pie originated, but something was misconstrued in the transmission, and the pie became a beloved wintertide dessert in Frewyn, as historian Baronous Hodge enumerates:

The Marridon method

Baronous Hodge on mince pies in Frewyn: “Mince is a phenomenon in Frewyn, a thing begot in Marridon, as most unexplainable and somewhat objectionably foods are, and improved across the sea. What began as a savoury sweetmeat is now a traditional dessert, made for the winter holidays   

and never eaten at any other time of the year. It must be the long evenings and heavy snows which make mince so desirable, for make it any other day and you will be harangued by ten bakers at once that you have something positively sacrilegious. Mince is a thing which must be made well or not at all. I have seen a poor attempt or two in my time here, and the abominations that have dared to call themselves mince pies are sooner bought from professionals the following year than attempted again. We call them mince because everything in the innards is chopped beyond recognition, congealing into a saccharine sludge once baked and cooled. Frewyners have a particular aptitude for managing a range, and while Marridon pies and cakes are considered to be superior in a certain style, I would not trade a well-done Frewyn mince for a lemon tart. Each baker has their own recipe handed down to them by the master of the family range, given over for the next generation’s iteration, to be spruced and garnished in their own way. It is said the greatest of all mince sits at the king’s table, a clandestine concoction handed down through the centuries, told to no one else other than the next king’s cook. One of the royal enigmas only to be found out through time, I suppose, but what can be so secret about a mince as to keep it locked behind the larder door? Surely there is nothing worse in it than a few bones in the mix, to make the suet thicken.”

Method by Martje's reckoning:

Aye, well, you wanted to know how to do it, so the majesty’s given me permission to show you, but it’s gonna take some doin’. There’s a lot to add, and if yer not payin’ attention, that’s yer mince in the pail come morn. First, the trick to makin’ a good mince is to have a good crust, and unlike tarts or other sweet pies, mince has a savoury crust, on account o’ the suet what goes into the mix. Yer gonna need lard for the crust, but we don’t do it like how they do in Marridon, with all their tongue meat in the mix. This ain’t no bakemete, or

whatever they calls it up there. This here’s a sweet pie in Frewyn, but we still gotta put the lard in the crust to keep what’s inside from fallin’ out. Put together your flour, lard, and egg for the pastry. Lard gives a good flake on it. You can use butter if you’re wantin’ instead, but if you do that, make sure it’s cold butter now. Melted butter will give you a shortbread dough, and we want this pastry to stand on two legs. Once you put that together, roll it real well and put it aside. Now we gotta do our fillin’. Put a good amount of apple and pear mash together with yer suet and a bit o’ sac or brandy, or if you got nothing else, a splash of vinegar, to keep it from goin’ aff. Aye, it’ll make it more pungent, but it won’t put the taste aff, ‘cause you can always add come vanilla to wash out the smell, so don’t be worryin’ much about it. That’s gonna be yer mince base. Once you got that mashed right well, put in brandy butter and lemon curd, and mix ‘em till they’re well coloured. Then I put in walnuts, candied lemon peel, dried cherries, dried mulberries, currants—all to taste, so put in how ever much of each you like. Don’t take out the currants ‘cause you don’t like ‘em, you’ll need ‘em to soak up some o’ the sauce. Add in yer spices, mace, cinnamon, and some nutmeg, and then mix that there fillin’ together real well. Get a farmer to do it if you can’t do it yerself. Can’t have a townie mix, ‘cause they’re as useless as an open window in winter, I’m tellin’ you. They wouldn’t last two minutes at the churn in the dairy. Once that’s done, use a cup to slot your pastry into rounds, and put the rounds in a small pie pan. Put one heaped spoonful o’ the fillin’ in each pie. Don’t worry about goin’ over much. If yer fillin’ is thick enough, it’s not goin’ anywhere. Now, we gotta cover ‘em. You can do it with pastry, or leave ‘em open, however yous are wantin’. I seen ‘em in Marridon with the star cut tops and such. All that fancy for nothin’. I do ‘em with almond paste. That’s my secret to makin’ it royal mince. Aye, I know Betsiegh at the bakers does it similar, but I got my doin’ from Ruta, and mine got the royal seal on ‘em, so shise shin. Take a good bit o’ almond paste and roll it into a little hat for yer pies. No need to cover ‘em all the way, ‘cause they’re gonna melt over the mix anyhow. Doin’ an almond paste top crust is a good way to measure if the pies are done, ‘cause they’ll brown and bubble up when they’re ready. Make an almond hat for each o’ yer pies, however many yer wantin’ to make. Put ‘em in the closed oven or bread oven for about twenty minutes, or until the tops tell you they’re done. If yer doin’ a bread oven, remember to turn the pies round, to get ‘em baked even on all sides. Take ‘em outta the oven and leave ‘em to cool for th’while, ‘cause the insides’ll be hot like butter in a summer swelter. The crust’ll be thick enough that if you turn ‘em over onto a plate, they’ll keep shape. And that’s the mince. A good pie for leavin’ out durin’ the holidays, ‘cause the monster don’t like ‘em. The majesty gives me a bit o’ guff for puttin’ ‘em on the table every mornin’ o the holiday, ‘cause he can’t walk by without eatin’ one, but seein’ him happy is worth all the trouble. Don’t be askin’ me about exact measurin’ and all. Every house is different. Some folk like to make ‘em small, some like to make ‘em middlin’, some like more brandy in ‘em, some like more fruit in ‘em. You just measure how much you need and learn as you go.