Story for the Day: Dinner with Count Rosse Pt.1
There is nothing worse in the world than bad company, and when the bad company in question is of a royal stamp, there is no cure for it save what a few fists can recommend.
There would be no performance that
evening: Ailineighdaeth was to begin at sundown, and the entertainment was
instead to be offered at noon, to give the performers and servers time to
return home and prepare for their evening celebrations with their family and
friends. The tales in the main dining hall were sprinkled with traders and
merchants visiting from Marridon, many of them decidedly remaining in Frewyn
for the length of the holiday to enjoy everything that the day had to offer,
and sitting at their private tables beside the stage were the lords and ladies
belonging to the Frewyn gentry, some of them sitting with honoured guests from
Marridon, others accubating with easy indifference by themselves, their
personal attendants standing behind them to pour the wine and slice the bread.
Waitresses fluttered about on silent feet, gliding back and forth from the bar
to the hall to the kitchen and back again, refilling glasses and scribbling
away on their pads, performing perfunctory smiles for the gentry and holding
animated conversation with those who genuinely sought their notice. Light
poured through the stained glass windows leaving iridescent marks along the
ground, the apricity from the rays billowing in soft shadow across the lighted
walls. Furoles flickered when doors were opened, scents of cottage loaves and rye
rolls emanated from the baking room, teacakes and scones were brought for those
who asked, dried rosemary and wild mountain thyme decorated every table. Musicians
tuned their instruments in conclamant symphony, a reboation of mirth and voices
rang out from the bar where patrons wreathed round in herds eagerly awaiting
their drinks. The dancers made their began their stretches, complaining of
cramp and sore feet from having done the show twice yesterday for a group of
farmers from Westren, and while the men from the west were generous with their
commendations and obliging with their enthusiasm, the dance they had begged for
after the performance was over, the traditional ceiligh that ensued, was the
cause of their discomfort now. It had been a pleasant time, however, and one
that recommended of being pleasanter than the performance they were to have
now, for while there were a few jovial and benevolent men occupying chairs,
Count Rosse
had just entered the main parlour with his attendant and was
already demanding to be seated.
A WIP of the count in all his glory |
“Keep yer hat on, Yer Grace,” said the barman,
who was standing behind the bar, out of the count’s hearing, and was wiping
down his glasses. “Someone’ll be at ye to lick the muck from yer slippers sure
enough.”
“Not so loud, Mittiedh,” a waitress
beside him whispered.
Here was a heavy sigh. “That
decorated grod, with his flouncin’ cacks—he looks like a springpole. I got no
patience for his kind th’day,” said Mittiedh, shaking his head and placing the
dry glasses on the hanging wrack, “not th’ day at all. It’s holiday th’day. I
want a nice day for all o’ yis, and I’ll not have it ruined by the likes o’ him
nor any of ‘em. If he thinks he’s gonna be harassin’ the folks and callin’ ‘em
peasants and wavin’ his hand and clickin’ his fingers th’gether every which way
for service, sure’n I won’t mind callin’ the guard to have him out. I won’t
have it th’day, Ailis.” He turned aside and slung his clean cloth over his
shoulder. “I won’t have his hollarin’ and nonsense, shoutin’ at the dancers and
sayin’ terrible things to no one. I want us to have a good mornin’ so’s yis can
take yer smiles back to yer fam’lies. I don’t want yis goin’ home thinkin’ yer
worth nothin’ ‘cause some sir-lord-o’ the- high-hills says so.”
“Sure, we won’t be thinkin’ that,
Mittiedh,” Ailis kindly assured him. “We know what he says he don’t mean, and
even if he do mean it, we know he never learned any better and he can’t be
faulted.”
“Aye, he can.” Mittiedh exhaled and
turned aside. “I just don’t like hearin’ ‘em say so. A man can’t stand by and
hear those what he cares for bein’ spoken badly about.”
Ailis placed her hand at her breast
and gave a small sentimental sigh. “Away ye go, Mittiedh, with that talkin’.
Ye’ll have me waterin’ before I have to serve anyone. No need tellin’ us, for we
all know ye like us well enough.”
“Aye, I do, but it don’t hurt a man
to say so. Ye work hard, lookin’ after a hundred tables a night while helpin’
me mind the bar. Seein’ noblefolk throw a copper at ye and tell ye to beg for
it makes me--” He stopped here, feeling his chest swell and his complexion in a
glow. His chest heaved, he closed his eyes and exhaled, and the barman began
again. “I just don’t like seein’ yis treated like hounds, bein’ shouted at and
made to fetch thither and hither just ‘cause they like watchin’ ye tittup on
yer toes. I’m tellin’ ye now,” stabbing a finger into the bar, “one word outta
his unholy mouth,”pointing at Count Rosse, “and Mharac, that’s my fist at him.”
He wrung his hand toward the count,
and the waitress, standing beside the barman, stared at his clenched fingers,
his immense fist overpowering the outline of the count, which, though far away,
still seemed dreadfully small in comparison to the barman’s hand.
“Mittedh,” said Ailis, placing a
hand on his shoulder, “try not to mind him. Ye know what happens when ye get
upset.”
She raised a brow and gave him a
plaintive look, and the barman glanced at the ground and grew ashamed.
“Aye,” said he quietly. “I know it.”
“Last time ye trounced one of ‘em
young rablerousers from Marridon, two of the windas needed fixin’, and ye put
out yer back after slingin’ one of ‘em over the bar. Ye know how ye overdo it,
and His Grace can’t be overdone on.”
“I got a right to protect what I
love same as anyone else,” he contended, stabbing his thumb against his heart. “Don’t
matter if he’s a count or a king or a farmer, if he says what against ye, I’m
puttin’ him through the ceilin’, so I am. How is it that the like o’ him is
allowed to say and do what he will and the like o’ us has to creep about their
feelin’s? Minding the tourist, I understand, though I don’t like it. I’ll
forget a bad word at me for the sake o’ showin’ a good face for Frewyn, but ‘em
what come from our own kingdom, nobles and lords and that, they got no right.
They get no quarter. They learn manners same as we do, and we learn to be
respectful same as ‘em. When they come to the bar or sit at the tables, they
get the same service as anyone else. We let ‘em bring their prancin’ ponies ,
and that should be enough for ‘em. Tha’s all I’m sayin’.”
He had done his speech and huffed at
the finish, slipping his cleaning cloth from his shoulder and wiping down the
bar, feeling his point had been well-made and that no one who was within
hearing would effect to gainsay him; Frewyn bore the reputation for being the
most affable place on the two continents, with friendly faces, warm smiles, good-natured
men and voluable women, and many from Marridon, a kingdom known for its cold
civility and curt politeness, delighted in Frewyn’s natural openness and
obligingness, but amongst the gentry, such unwarranted amicability was seen as
ingratiation, and while some humility was becoming in a peasant, a forthcoming
and ingenuous character was deemed impertinence. For a visitor to mistake a
Frewyn’s manner as impudence was a slight to be overlooked, but amongst their
own set, a class-conscious and cold
Frewyn was unpardonable, and when the count, upon seeing no one coming to greet
him as he came to the matron’s stand, began calling out for service, demanding
to be seated directly. Every waiter and waitress grimaced and shook their heads
and apologized to the men and women who were already seated and wondering why
someone of evident consequence amongst the gentry was protesting so loudly.
“Ye know where yer table is, ye flotherin’ bastard,”
the barman said to himself, in a deep wrawl. “Matron’s off doin’ her job
countin’ the wine in the cellar. Ye can wait a minute till she comes back.
Sure, she only just went down when ye arrived.”
“Is there no means of having
tolerable service in this place?” Rosse cried, looking about the room in horror.
“Here I am standing here this age waiting for someone to attend me, and I think
it might be easily done with a few of you loitering about, and yet you will
stand about and prattle to one another in your incoherent jabber while someone
waits here to give you business. This is deterring a customer as I have never
hitherto witnessed. I won’t stand for it. I absolutely will not stand for such
discourtesy.” He glanced at his attendant, who was shaking his head and
pretending to be rather shocked by the whole scandalous business, and turned
back to the hall with his head high, his expression rapt in affected
ingratitude, his air complacent, his pride as a noble wholly injured.
“If ye won’t stand for it, ye’ll
sit for it,” the barman’s voice rumbled. “Sure’n I’ll make ye sit for it, ye
bastard.”
He rolled up his sleeves, flexed
his forarms, and moved to lift the bar and approach the count, but Ailis, with
a gentle touch, compelled him to stay where he was.
“Mittiedh,” said she, in a half
whisper. “I’ll go to him and bring him to his box.”
“Never
ye mind, Ailis. I’ll put him in it meself—“
“Ye’ll
put him through it, more like.”
“I will
so, and at least he’ll be there and not at the top o’ the room, makin’ a show
o’ himself and botherin’ the other patrons. I’m goin’ over there--”
“No,”
said Ailis, with mild firmness, “I’ll go.”
A few
quiet protestations succeeded here, but the hand resting against his chest and
Ailis’ pleading countenance convinced him to calm. “Aye, go then,” with a
sobering sigh. “And bring him the wine and water he wants or so help him we’ll
never hear the end of it. Ye don’t have to mix it. His prancer what he brought
with him’ll mix it for him—and cut his meat, and wipe his chin, and shine his
shoes and all.”
He looked back at Count Rosse, who
was still lamenting of being ill-used while standing perfectly still and appearing
distraught, and never had the barman been so incensed by a customer in his life.
“Bhi Borras an Mharac—“ He gnarled, his voiced restrained and his
teeth grating, and he twisted his cloth violently about in his hands. “Here,
Yer Grace,” he bellowed, in an undervoice, “pick yer seat and shift yerself if
ye can’t wait two minutes for the matron to come back.”
“Let me go before he starts
hollarin’,” said Ailis, and go she did, approaching the entrance of the hall
with cheerful solicitude and warm smiles. “Your Grace is very welcome—“
“Who are you?” the count
vaingloriously exclaimed, recoiling and raising a hand to shield himself from
the forward peasant. “Do not near me unless asked. You might be harbouring a
contagion if you haven’t been thoroughly examined.” He pulled a handkerchief
from his pocket and held it to his mouth. “I will not be ill this holiday, and
will certainly not be made so by a diseased frippet. And when did they being
employing such purses here? Oh, but I observe you are a waitress. The change in
costume recommends you as a lace-mutton. How can you wear so revealing a blouse
and be expected to be seen as a respectable servant? And don’t you know how to
make the proper addresses? Well, I suppose one of your extreme inferiority
would have no idea unless instructed, and by your unmodulated manner, I can see
there was little instruction given there. No, no, go away. I don’t want this
woman,” waving her off with a flourish of his handkerchief. “Where is the
matron? She is always respectable and adequately attired. I won’t be seated by
some common piece. I will be addressed and seated properly or I will make the
necessary complaints.”
The count looked about as though no
one were standing before him, and Ailis was forced to return to the bar,
bemused and somewhat mortified by the count’s behaviour.
“That didn’t go as well as it ought,”
said Ailis, still confused. “Did I do somethin’ wrong, Mittiedh?”
The barman, however, made her no
answer; he was tying his sleeves round his upper arms and removing his hat.
“Is there somethin’ amiss with my
outfit?” examing herself and smoothing her skirts. “Sure’n it’s not revealin’,
is it? I’m well covered to my collar. Did he mean my bodice? Is it too tight?
Doesn’t feel that way. Sure it doesn’t give anythin’ away. Maybe it looks
different on the other girls? Was it how I curtsied? Should I have done it
before the greetin’ instead o’ durin’?”
“Don’t ye give another second to it,
Ailis,” he sibilated, lifting the bar stall and stepping out. “I’m gonna give
him a greetin’ he won’t be able to say nothin’ about. I’m gonna take him by the
seat o’ his cacks and see if he’s got a head for heights.”
“Don’t be hurtin’ him now,
Mittiedh,” was her firm warning. “It’s one thing to bark back at him, but
another to lay a hand on him.”
“Is there no one in this
establishment competent enough to seat me?” the count cried, searching
helplessly about.
“Step outta the way, Ailis,” said
the barman, lifting her up and carefully moving the waitress aside. “I’ll show
him who’s competent enough to do what round here.”
He took a thundering step toward
the entrance, but was called back by Ailis, who had grabbed his arm and
attached herself to him, digging her heels into the floor and pulling backward
to keep him from advancing.
“Mittiedh, don’t,” she pleaded,
heaving backward. “If ye hurt him, that’s ye in the dungeon.”
“Aye, I know it. Let me wring him
out over the crags and stand before the Majesty. I’ll tell the king what goes
on, and he’ll have the nobles banned from enterin’ the place. A good a cause as
ever I heard it.”
“But they’re a large part o’ the clients,
Mittiedh, ‘specially around holiday. If ye ban ‘em—“
“Are you, sir, going to seat me?” the
count asked, in a loud accent, looking very charily at the simmering barman.
“You are dressed properly and seem to understand the modes of suitable decorum.
Are you going to give a Count what is his due?”
“Oh, aye,” said Mittiedh, in a dreadful hush, “I am so,
Yer Grace.”
The barman’s knuckles cracked, patrons turned their
heads and began to scrutinize, half in fear and half in hopes of what must
happen; the musicians stopped tuning their instruments, dancers held their
toe-stands and watched askance over their shoulders, waiters stopped refilling
glasses, the thrum of private discourse ceased, and the whole of the Food Hall
was watching and waiting.
Comments
Post a Comment