Story for the Day: Dinner with Count Rosse - Pt. 2
And we continue with Count Rosse attempting to dine out without his offending anybody:
The alarming expectation of the
barman’s shaking fist being held at his side silenced the hall, and the glare,
the vicious glower of fury unimpeded by sense, frightened some and interested
many who would see the count receive what was owed him. The barman advanced, a
fist was raised, and there was a terrible pause. The musicians gaped, the
dancers turned away, the waiters leapt instantly to stop what they feared must
be the end of the establishment. A few gasps were heard, eyes widened and hands
raised to mouths in anxious expectation,
but the sudden solicitation of, “Thank you, Mittiedh, for entertaining His
Grace while I was gone,” made all cautionary motions unnecessary.
The wine counted and the accounts
for the morning settled, the matron had folded her papers neatly in the breastpocket
of her waistcoat and mounted the stair, whereupon she heard the familiar whining
tones of her most hated customer, demanding that the barman seat him. “By the
Gods, no…” she breathed, instantly compounded by a thousand vexations.“Mittiedh,
please don’t kill him,” she entreated, racing up the stairs, and she arrived to
find the barman looming over the Count, his fist hovering, his aspect rife with
unrestrained fury, with Ailish hanging around his waist, endeavouring in vain
to pull him back to the bar. With all the celerity her apprehension could
recommend, the matron leapt in front of the barman, shrouding his view of the
Count. Her hand touched his fist, and in saying her thanks for detaining their
visitor with a serious smile, the barman blinked and his calm sense of
awareness began to return to him.
“I’m sure His Grace would like to
be seated now,” said the matron, glaring at the barman over the rim of her
spectacles.
A conscious look, a fierce smile
passed between them, and the barman lowered his fist though his broad chest was
still heaving.
“The wine is counted,” the matron
continued, taking the paper from her pocket and placing it into the barman’s
hand. “One hundred and forty seven casks for the week. You will want to keep
that for the records.”
A moment passed, the barman glanced
at the matron’s severe aspect and then down at the list in his hand. “Aye,” said
he, somewhat bewildered, “I will so.” The touch of the paper, the felth of it,
made him sensible, and calm once more, he murmured a quiet, “Thanks, Siebh,”
and turned away, noting the apprehensive expressions of the waiters and
musicians as he walked back to the bar.
“Please, Your Grace,” said the
matron with a low bow, “do let me show you to your seat.”
She took a menu card from the stand
beside her and walked past the bar into the dining room, where the musicians
recommenced their tuning, the dancers began practicing their jumps and swing
kicks, and patrons restores their discussions, and the count followed.
“Well,” Count Rosse exclaimed,
speaking loud enough for others to hear though effecting to speak to himself,
“this is all an extraordinary way of going on indeed. How can this be allowed,
permitting the underservants to speak to the guests? Irregular indeed.”
It was said to garner sympathy for the sense
of injustice that His Grace was feigning to suffer, but his laments only
attracted a few stares. A few gapes passed between the matron and the waiters
as they passed, headshakes were exchanged, secret mouthings of by the gods were shared, and the Count
was shown to his table without farther incident.
“Ye o’ right, Mittiedh?” said
Ailis, sidling the barman as he passed the bar stall.
The barman’s gaze drifted over to
the count, who was just taking the chair pulled out for him by his servant. “One
word,” he grumbled, “just one, and I won’t hold my hand the next time.”
“He’s always quiet when he eats.”
“Aye, and until then, he’s got a
mouth o’ complainin’ on him. Here, take his wine to him before he starts
hollarin’ for it.”
“But he said he didn’t want me near
him.”
The barman scoffed. “Sure, yer’re
thinkin’ he’ll remember yer face. All the coppers in my pocket says he don’t
even look at ye when he orders.” He took a wooden tray down from the cabinet
above, placed on it the counter, and ornamented it with a decanter of red wine,
a small wooden container filled with ice, a pitcher of water, and an empty
glass. “Go on, Ailis,” said he, with half a smile, “bet ye he don’t make a fuss
over ye.”
His outfit is more offensive than he can be himself |
Ailis took the tray reluctantly,
but in walking to the count’s table, she found that the barman’s conjectures
were pretty correct: His Grace sat languidly in his chair, his servant
arranging everything about the table, placing the flowers, the salt, the
napkins, the utensils, and even the menu card in just such a way as his master
preferred, while Rosse studied the dinner choices and hummed in deliberation
over whether he should have the salmon or the chicken. The tray was put down,
and instantly the count’s servant took up the wine and water, and she waited to
be shooed away from the table or to be changed out for another waitress, but
the count only asked “And what is the special?” without turning to her.
“This afternoon is the Ailineighdaeth
special, Yer Grace,” she announced, still waiting to be told to leave every
moment. “Braised chicken breast stuffed with fried onion, Glaoustre blue cheese
sauce over, and garlic mash and vegetables beside.”
He pursed his lips, asculating
while perusing the other choices one last time, and once his wine was put into
his hand, he said a terse, “Yes, that will do,” thrust the menu card at her,
and enjoyed a slow delibation without turning to her.
Ailis was astonished, too
astonished to leave the table directly. “Would His Grace prefer to keep the
card for a dessert?” said she, still wondering whether she would be sent away.
Here was a pause. “No,” said the
count, in a careless hue. He waved her on, tossing a hand behind him whilst
looking at the stage ahead. “I’ll choose later. You may go,” and he sipped his
wine and remarked the quaintness of the musicians’ clothes, and Ailis was
encouraged away from the table by the count’s servant, who seemed just as
disposed as the count himself could be to disregard her.
“Ten coppers in my pocket,” said
Mittiedh, when Ailis returned to him at the bar. “That’s how much ye’ll be
owin’ me when the afternoon’s out.”
“Well,” Ailis sighed, “suppose I
should be happy he didn’t holler at me. We’ll see what happens when I bring the
bread to him.”
The count’s order was placed, and
all the necessary accountriments of dried bacon rashers, complementary black
tea, toasted cheese, warmed butter, and a brown cottage loaf were conveyed to
the table. Before Ailis could offer to slice and butter the bread, the count’s
attendant, with knife in hand, chiseled through the greater part of the loaf,
making her presence superfluous. She turned to go when the count called her
back with, “The wine hasn’t been chilled properly.”
Ailis’ eyes darted anxiously about.
“Pardon, Yer Grace, but there’s the ice there—“
“And you expect me to put it into
the wine?”
“No, Yer Grace, just to put the
decanter on it if yer wantin’ the wine a bit colder.”
Count Rosse snuffed. “Clearly you
understand nothing about wine. It must be chilled at least an hour before being
brought to table.”
Ailis had little idea about any of
what the Count deemed as appropriate; wine was always chilled before being proffered to patrons, but the Count, she
observed, was in a humour for confrontation, and she gave up the point, said a
humble “I’ll tell the barman, Yer Grace,” and hastened away before the count
could turn to look at her.
The count watched her go, tapered
his gaze as though trying to remember something, and then began inspecting the
other waitress as they whirred by. “Is every servant so vulgar in this place?”
said Rosse, gesticulating with his tumbler. “I cannot remember everyone looking
so coarse and speaking as though they belong in a stables. And the costumes
have grown so shabby and the women so slatternly.”
A few ladies at a nearby table eyed
the count over their shoulders, and the count’s attendant smiled nervously and
wished that his master would be a little less candid while there were others
within hearing who might take offense.
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